Attempting to Teach the Twins
by Retrobution
Summary: This is a sequel of a sequel for Training Sessions and Another day in Training. The twins want to learn magic but Skulduggery says...


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Skulduggery Pleasant series.**

Valkyrie Cain was not looking forward to this other training session. She wondered who would be the victim now, Tanith or herself. It was usually herself these days but who knows? She ran outside from her uncle's house to the Bentley quietly. She was supposed to stay at her aunt and uncle but she said she was going to the library. Her uncle waved to her and she gave a weak wave back. She hopped in the Bentley.

"Step on it," she instructed.

"Why?" The annoying voice of Skulduggery Pleasant answered her.

She gestured towards her uncle who was getting closer and closer towards the Bentley. He didn't get the message, and instead waved at Fergus.

"Hello uncle of Stephanie Edgley!" He said brightly. "We met at the last will of Gordon's remember."

"Ah yes," Fergus replied sourly. "Skulduggery Pleasant yes?"

"Yes indeed." He replied then he stepped on the accelerator and speeded away from her yelling uncle.

"Why didn't you step on it when I told you to?" Valkyrie cried.

"Why couldn't I say hello to your uncle?"

They continued bickering all the way to Gordon's house. When they arrived they saw Tanith waiting for them an annoyed expression on her face.

"Hey Val!" She called out.

"Hey Tanith." She replied less enthusiastic.

"What? No hello for me?" Skulduggery asked stepping out of the car.

Tanith didn't reply. She just huffed and turned away.

"Women and their stubbornness." He thrusted his hands in the air.

Tanith heard him. "Women? What about men huh? How do we know you're a man? You're just a skeleton!"

"Oh you're accusing me?"

"Guys there's a problem!" Valkyrie called out.

The arguing people turned towards her. Their eyes widened. Carol and Crystal were standing beside Valkyrie. Their mouths going up and down like a goldfish.

"Yo- you're a skel- a skeleton!" Crystal said flabbergasted.

"Valkyrie what is the meaning of this!" Skulduggery asked her sternly.

"I dunno! I was getting some lemonade when they jumped up and said they wanted to learn magic!" She protested.

"You do know there are dangers to it?" Skulduggery turned to the twins.

The two twins nodded.

"Very well then you may learn."

"WHAT?" Valkyrie cried out. "When I said that to you were saying 'but' as an example!"

"Your point being?" Skulduggery cocked his skull.

"Fight when anyone not magic wants to learn magic that it's not good for them!" She replied.

"Fine then I will. Are you sure you want to do this? Of course you might get involved with saving the world, fighting some gods, and dealing with monsters."

The twins still nodded.

"You then may now not learn how to do magic."

The twins nodded excitedly. "So how do you make a fireba-"

"Hold up I said no." Skulduggery said.

"What? That's not fair! You said yes until Stepha-" Carol protested.

"It's Valkyrie." Valkyrie interrupted.

"Until Valkyrie said no!" Crystal continued for her twin.

"Fine have it this way," Skulduggery said. "Bring me a calculator type in a three digit number with your eyes closed."

Carol and Crystal each got a calculator and did what he said. They both typed in the number nine hundred and ninety nine. Skulduggery smiled.

"Right then! Now give me the nine hundred and ninety nine reasons why you want to do magic!" He said pleasantly.

Valkyrie grinned but the twins gasped. They started babbling some nonsense about Christmas presents.

"Come one girls! Give me them or else no magic for you!" Skulduggery said again.

The twins listed all their reasons but only got one.

"Right, nine hundred and ninety eight to go!" Tanith piped up.

The twins looked flabbergasted.

"You don't want to learn? The go home." Valkyrie said, annoyed.

"But- but... You know what fine then!" Crystal said and stomped off with Carol trailing off beside her.

"Were you actually going to teach them Skulduggery?" Valkyrie asked him.

"God no," Skulduggery laughed.

"Even if you did," Tanith added. "They wouldn't get it."

"And the only thing you would be doing Skulduggery." Valkyrie looked at his eyes sockets. "You would at least attempt to teach the twins."

**A/N: This is going to be the last Training story I'll do. Thanks for everyone who reviewed for my other Training Session stories!**


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